


Am I Enough For You?

by ChaoticCourtJester



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor cries ink because i thought that headcanon was neat, Alastor is Bad at Feelings (Hazbin Hotel), Author Is Sleep Deprived, Don't Like Don't Read, Fluff and Angst, Gaslighting, Good Friend Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Other, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Please Kill Me, Touch-Averse Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Trans Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Trans Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28932999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticCourtJester/pseuds/ChaoticCourtJester
Summary: A run-in with an old enemy leaves Alastor struggling with the idea of not being enough for Angel(1 am vent fic for the author, basically. Also, Alastor and Angel are both trans masculine in this story because that concept brings me comfort)
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 61





	Am I Enough For You?

**Author's Note:**

> TW PLEASE READ:
> 
> Panic attacks, intentional misgendering, past abuse, gaslighting, transphobia. If any of these are something that will upset you, PLEASE do not read, I dont want to dig up bad memories or feelings for you.

Alastor could barely breathe.

It wasn't uncommon for them to find themself in a situation like this, panicking to the point of thinking he was dying again. Usually it happened because they were touched too much and needed to lock himself in a bathroom while they had a breakdown on the floor. 

But this time it wasn't caused by mistake. He had intentionally tried to get this reaction out of Alastor, just because he wanted too.

"Smiles? Come on babe, just breathe."

'Angel?'  
Alastor couldn't even get the thoughts to form into words, it came out as choked sobs and hiccups. Tears of ink streamed down their cheeks and Angel pulled him closer.

"Its okay sweetie, I've got you." The spider held the deer close, their alastor clinging onto Angel so hard that they were actually starting to feel a bit lightheaded. Angel continued to whisper calming words into Alastors ear as he stroked their hair and back. 

Angel knew how these kinds of episodes went, especially with their line of work, so he knew ways to bring someone back. 

Alastor opened his eyes, only to see that his tears had left a black stain on Angel's fur. "O-oh, I'm s-sorry.." they stammered, rubbing the tears off his face.

Angel cupped Alastors face with his hands, caressing his cheek. "Its okay babe, I can clean it off later. Do ya think you can tell me what happened?"

Alastor shook their head before lowering it down to the crook of Angel's neck, the familiar scent of bubblegum and cotton candy bringing some comfort. 

"Okay. You just focus on breathing, Al. I ain't gonna leave."

Finally, after the crying had been reduced to small sniffles and a few hiccups and Angel's fur was stained black in some places, Alastor raised their head. 

"Angel, am I... enough for you?" he finally asked in a quiet voice, eyes pointed down at his lap.

Angel seemed taken aback. "Al, babe, of course you are. You're everything I've ever wanted, why wouldn't you be enough?" 

Alastor didn't know how to explain how they felt. It was almost like they'd have to explain his entire life story just for things to begin to make sense. 

"I- I just feel like maybe you'd want to be with someone who was born male. Would that not make you happier?" 

Angel tightly held Alastor's hands in their own, wrapping the lower arms around his waist to pull him closer. 

"Alastor Marquel, I am not leaving you for some guy just because he has a dick. You're manly enough too me, and no matter what anyone else says, I'm gonna stay around because I love you."

"But-" Angel pressed a finger to Alastors lips before they could continue.

"No buts. You changed my life in a way I never thought was possible, and I'm gonna make sure I do the same for you, starting with letting you know exactly how much I care." Angel finished his sentence by kissing the deers forehead, and pulling them into another hug. 

Alastor felt his eyes welling up with ink tears again, overwhelmed with Angel's words.

"I ran into Vox today." Alastor muttered. 

Angel felt his stomach drop. Alastor and Vox apparently had been in a relationship a few years back, and from what Alastor had told them, it was an awful relationship. 

"Did he do anything to you? I swear if he did, I'll kill him." the spider growled. 

Alastor starting to tug on one of their ears, a nervous tic. "It... it wasn't much, I shouldn't have let it get to me. I don't want to burden you."

Angel ran their hands through Alastor's crimson hair. "You can tell me, babe. I'll understand anything you tell me."

"You honestly think a whore like Angel Dust is going to stay with someone like you?" Vox laughed, Alastor trying to contain his rage.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" They sneered. Oh, how he wished he was allowed to rip that stupid monitor right off Vox's body, but alas, that wouldn't be good for the hotel's image.

"Oh, come on Allie. Don't I deserve the time of day as your ex boyfriend? You can't tell me you're STILL upset about what happened."

Alastor turned on his heel, just wanting to go right back to the hotel. This didn't stop the tv demon from attempting to follow them, just like he used too. 

"Are you're seriously gonna be this dramatic? You really haven't changed at all! Not that you can change anything bout yourself if you know what I mean." Vox sneered, speeding up as Alastor started to speedwalk in an attempt to get away faster. "I was just trying to help ya out. You're setting yourself up for heartbreak."

"Will you just leave me ALONE? I left you years ago, get over it." Alastor snapped, clutching their microphone tightly enough to hurt his hands. 

"Woah, did I strike a nerve again? Are you gonna cry like you used too? You can't handle the truth. That hooker is probably just WAITING to leave you for a real man. Not some bitch in a suit too trapped in her own delusions to see when she's not wanted."

Alastor saw red after that. Fuck the hotels image, they weren't just gonna sit and let Vox of all people say these things. He tackled Vox to the ground, punching his screen as hard as the could, not caring when Vox fought back, not even feeling the shards of glass that cut into their hands. 

Was Alastor crying? Alastor definitely couldn't tell. Vox eventually got the upperhand, forcing the deer under him and holding their bleeding fists. The TV demon couldn't do anything to the deer before he teleported away, just outside Angel Dusts room.

"I'm so sorry, I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but he just..." Alastor cut off.

Angel's face softened. It was an awful lot like the things Valentino used to say when he was angry, making Angel upset and then making them feel that it was their fault for upsetting Val first. That was definitely not something Angel missed when Al got him out of that contract.

"Al, Vox can go get trampled by Val for all I care. He's just sayin' this shit cause he's mad he can't have someone as wonderful as you by his side anymore." Angel assured, pleased to see Alastors smile return. Though small, it was there and that's what was important.

"I love you, mon ange. I really really do." Alastor muttered, finally feeling at peace after the episode.

Angel grinned. "I love you too, ya sap. You wanna take a nap? I usually get tired after crying that much. I can wash the stains off later." 

Alastor nodded, laying back onto the spiders bed, Angel following behind them. The pink blanket covered them both like a tent.

"You're still wearing your shoes, smiles." Angel said, only to be met with silence. The deer was already fast asleep.

"Heh. You're something else, smiles. You really are."


End file.
